Couch time

Been going back & forth on keeping myself distracted today. Been watching my so called life. Im humored & actually learning some truths about myself. How im gettn wrapped up in drama. Im 33. I dont need this shit. But you know, this is all about learning to be an adult & treat life maturely...stand up & be wise about your choices.

Abbies roommate texted me. Asked me if i was still gonna be his friend. I was honest. Its hard for me to be around that group of people just by association. A part of me wants to suck it all up, put on my game face & prove how strong i am. The other part says, dude, you aint got shit to prove; walk away from this shit. & then i think, relationships are about work & just cuz personalities & characteristics are different, you shouldnt walk away. Ive always been able to deal w/ confrontation & do awkward. In general, i dont let people hold me back...or per se, avoid. I dunno.
What would maya angelou do? Or scarlet o'hara. I just think of rhett butler making scarlet go to that ball & face the music...
Im not obligated to shit but this paper i have with the mr & my kid...does my business reputation really matter? Am i investing in the wrong things? The wrong people?
Respect, integrity, loyalty, honesty...people have forgotten. &i know people would say i should point the finger right back at myself for not being any of those w/ the me. No one would ever believe he & my mom are the only ones i cant be honest with. every1 else...i am.
Why is that hard? I should stop caring what other people think & in ways i dont & just be me.
Still having roller coaster days. Suck it up & show them you are strong & they can talk shit behind your back. Give them your big fuck off speech...& then...start new & walk away
The ones that care, will be there & i will love them forever for that. It wasnt ugly. It just was....